Sheryl Sandberg, COO of Facebook wrote the book Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead in 2013 about women in the workforce. She uses many of her own experiences, including advice from mentors over the years, as well as citing past research.
The book’s focus is the lack of women executives and what societal and personal changes need to be made to increase those numbers. It is an extension of her 2010 TED talk “Why we have too few women leaders”. Sheryl mentions research that reveals successful women are not liked as much as their successful male counterparts. They are expected to show loyalty while men can focus on their own achievements. So it’s suggested that rather than women saying “I had a great year” they need to say “We had a great year”. Focusing on the team creates a stronger team that creates better results.
Women also lack self-confidence. It’s shown that women only apply for jobs where they have 100% of the listed criteria, whereas men apply when they only have 60%. So women need to step up and go for those jobs they are interested in, but not fully qualified for.
Sheryl explains the importance of mentors in self-improvement and the best way of getting one. Rather than asking someone directly to be a mentor, ask them a direct question that won’t take them long to answer and then follow up later with the outcome of following that advice. This can lead to a strong relationship where both parties flourish.
The role of parents is covered really well too. One of her powerful messages is “The best way to make room for both life and career is to make choices deliberately – to set limits and stick to them.” It’s always a concern of parents when leaving children with someone else but Sheryl has cited research that shows children do not develop differently when not cared exclusively by their mother.
The best way to make room for both life and career is to make choices deliberately – to set limits and stick to them.
Sheryl Sandberg
Of course raising children and running a household shouldn’t be left solely to one person either. It needs to be shared with a partner. They should help raise the children and do housework, but let them do it in their own way.
The valuable lessons I take away from Sheryl’s book are:
- Pattie Sellers metaphor “Careers are a jungle gym, not a ladder”. Rather than progressing up the ranks your career may include a few side steps or even steps backward. And that’s OK to reach your dreams.
- When choosing between multiple jobs Eric Schmidt recommends choosing the company with the fastest growth as there will always be plenty to do.
- Ask for advice from others, even if you don’t like the answers, such as:
- “How can I do better?”
- “What am I doing that I don’t know?”
- “What am I not doing that I don’t see?”
- Work on things that you care about; that’s all the motivation you need.
- Don’t aim for perfection, aim for sustainability and fulfilling.
I would recommend this book to women entering the workforce, and those that have children or plan on doing so soon as it really is an eye opener on how you can have both a fulfilling job and family.
To see all my notes on the book, download my Lean In Notes.
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